How long can you remain young? How long can you deny the fact that we are all growing older? I look at my body, my tattoos and my piercings and I see beauty. However, I know it will not stay like that forever. I have not fully explored the reasons that got me to where I am today, but I know that even if I want to, I cannot possibly stay here forever.
D knows that. He wants to get married, he wants to go all the way and have a big time wedding, which is something that baffles me. He has baffled me from day one. I think I may have already said this before, but I am not a girl you take home to have Apple pie with mom.
I am heavily noticed in the street (and I like it that way), I have more tattoos that I can count, and I am most definitely not the type of girl you can take to the club house in the country club.
D wants all of that. He wants the big time wedding, the white designer bridal dress, the cake, the reception, the rehearsal dinner… I am excited but I also have doubts. On one hand I am thrilled that he really wants to do this. On the other hand it seems so unreal that I am wondering whether or not he is doing it to get back at his family. It is a crazy thought, but it has crossed my mind. I mean, there is no wedding dress that is going to hide my neck and arm tattoos. On the other hand, we have been together for quite a few years.
It is late, I am tired, I am having too much trouble digesting this. I have a session tomorrow and I need to get some rest.
A solas